Etsy shop!

I’ve had an Etsy account for a while now, but only this morning did I finally make listings! So if anyone wants to buy any of my jewellery, I’m in the process of putting it up now. I think I will also make dreamcatchers and other things for it. These are the two items I have listed so far, but I’m in the process of putting up more.
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I want to go back to real life.

Sometimes everything just feels so false. So dead. So… Unreal.
I wish there was a way to just be.

My life, by most peoples standards, is perfect. I have a lovely family, good friends, enough to eat, a place to live, happiness and laughter.
But I’ve been given a taste of what it is to fully live.
It’s those moments. The ones around the fire, when people who really know what it is to be true, to love, to be themselves, are singing out their souls and hearts to the world. When you see someone you barely know and you can see their love for you beaming through their eyes. When you know that everyone loves you, really loves you, for just being yourself. When although to most people, everything is miserable, it’s raining, you feel rubbish, you hurt, you’re cold and you’re carrying half your weight for miles, you are still with the people who care for you and sing their way along and everything is really perfect. When you see what may be a simple plant to some but yet when you look in the eyes of another, you see the same passion for the earth and the awe at the beauty of nature. When you can feel really, truly at home in the wild.
So from those moments, back to ‘real’ life, everything just feels so stupid.
I have come home, from a place where all those things are real, and all the time.
What seemed so normal before seems false now. I love my family, and my home, and my friends, but all day, all night, I long for that beauty, that community. That love.

I just wish that there was a way to live that way all the time. I mean, at the moment I’m on a week long camp in the woods, for the day at least, and that gives me a tiny taste of Scotland. But only a little.
Soon, in eight days, school starts again.
I liked school so much. I still do. But being in Scotland… It just seems so bland in comparison. So false.
Even with my best friends, who I really love and trust, I feel like I act, I’m someone else. I don’t sing. I don’t talk to them about nature, even though to them it probably seems like I do. But certainly not as much as I think about it. I don’t express my feelings, my happiness, my joy.
Because that’s just ‘weird’.
If I burst out into song all the time, the way I wish I could, if I talked to trees more, if I stalked up on people more, if I talked about the things I really, truly loved, if I danced in joy at the beauty of this world…
Who would talk to me then? Maybe one or two, but still.
Not to get you wrong, my school is incredibly open to different people. I mean, I’m really strange, to most peoples standards, and I’m totally accepted.
But I hear what people say about other people. And I know, although it’s probably said about me anyways, as it always is with everyone, that I don’t want people to think of me in that way. I hear the scornful remarks about little things that shouldn’t matter. I hear so much, and I know that that is only the tip of the iceberg.
But then, if I go back to homeschooling, will the negative aspects of that outweigh the negative aspects of school?
For one thing, I’ll probably have not many friends again. When my two best friends left Ireland a few years ago, I was alone. Occasionally I would visit someone, be happy, then go home.

But now, with all the things I know, will that bother me any more? No more would I be stuck at home… I would be able to experience the world in it’s fullest, make things, discover, write, create, live.
Now I feel as if I am stuck in school, a little.
So maybe. I will stick this year through… But after that, who knows? 😉

Ok, I know I haven’t been around much…
But in that time I was away, a lot happened.
Basically, I feel like a different person now. Its odd, but I really had to push myself to write this post. For a while I considered just leaving the blog as it is. No new posts. I still don’t know if I will even finish and post this.

So, I’ve been wanting to go to the Art of Mentoring for about two years now. This year, it happened. And I went.
What is the Art of Mentoring, you might ask? Basically, a bundle of awesome people with incredible personalities and skills get together and live in a nature based community for a week. I’m not too sure what the adults did, as the teens were, for the most part, away from the main camp. But my mother says it was amazing, as well.
For the first few days the teens (nicknamed the Kestrels) stayed in the main camp, but then we headed off into the wilderness. There were storms, giant towers, cliffs, lots of crawling through the undergrowth on our stomachs in the pouring rain, but it was awesome. I met people who I could really share with and sing with, and they understood my crazy rantings about nature. They had so much to give and I learned so much from them. There’s so much more, but I don’t have the energy to share it right now.
I kinda realized how much I hate technology. It just sucks away our time, our minds, our ability to think and play and discover. Most of the time. I mean, It’s handy for some things, but I find it easier without it.
I suppose I’d better get on with life now.
More crafts coming soon, I promise!