This morning I went up the hills for the usual hike, and wow. It was so beautiful, you wouldn’t believe. Argh, it was so perfect.
I really want to live in the woods so badly it hurts. It’s like this feeling that just pulls at my heart and soul and it’s just so strong that it is the most deeply embedded thing I have.
Recently I started seeing nature from a whole new perspective. Nearly a spiritual one, I think. I’ve started to feel the earth moving and breathing beneath my feet and I can feel these presences in the trees that just pull me.
I saw a really nice stone this morning. I felt this weird thing… I thought it was that I wanted to sit on it, but I wanted to be it. I wanted to blend with the stone, become the stone.
You already know I’m weird, right?
I feel nearly more comfortable sharing these thoughts with strangers, even though I know that friends and family also look at this blog. Even so it feels less personal… Yet more personal…
Yeah but a few months ago, I had this really powerful experience with a tree. It was part of a nature camp. Basically what we were to do was go out into the woods and find a tree and sit with it for about an hour or so.
I found this beautiful beech. I said hi, and she let me in. She was definitely a she.
So I sat there, and I really connected with this tree. After a while, I was lying among her roots, and I really wanted to sing to her. So I did.
I never forgot that tree. I think it changed me a little. Because, I could feel her presence so strongly that it spoke to me.
A little while ago I started getting this urge to draw spirits, shamans, people on the verge of each world… I don’t really know why. I suppose that sort of thing has always enchanted me, drawn me in. I don’t know, do some people feel that way about their religion? I’ve never been religious, I’d say, but I follow many Buddhist teachings and I do believe in many Buddhist traditions.
Is this what some people would consider a religion? I’m not sure, as it is simply a connection with the earth and spirits, for me.
I don’t really know any more. All I know is that I want to be out there.
I really want to find someone my age whom I can share this feeling with. Nobody I have ever met in Ireland is quite as obsessed as nature as I. In Scotland I met a few… And it was the best time of my life. I just want someone to understand 😦
Personally, I believe that if more teenagers were connected to nature, the world would be a hell of a lot better. I love life. I love being me. I love everything and everyone.
And I think it’s because of nature 🙂